I just finished watching 'Boyhood' but didn't feel as moved by it as I had anticipated.  Then I went to check on Louie in his bed.  He was all stretched out, star pose, his body all lengthened and leaned out, his chubby cheeks, long legs....a dichotomy between baby and boy.  The nappy and roundness of his face the only thing really keeping him little, my baby.  And then all the scenes of the movie, the two hour long movie-time growth of boy to man, suddenly seem an incredibly accurate foreshadowing of the next dozen years.  You are mine for such a short time.  All the world awaits you.

I feel a little like we've come out the end of a dark tunnel Arlo-boy.  Your first six months of life haven't been the smoothest with all your poor tummy pains and reflux and inability to sleep.  But pretty suddenly, things are much, much better.  I've stopped breast feeding you which was part heart-breaking, part liberating.  I celebrated six months of successful breastfeeding on our holiday in Taupo and then slowly switched to formula.  Along with the pangs of guilt and worry have been amazement and happiness at how hungry you are, how much better you are sleeping and generally, how much more we are both enjoying life.  

Yesterday I did something I've not done in your entire 6 month old life...I just sat beside you on a mat outside, not talking, not giving you any thing like I'd usually do (toys, leaves etc...nothing), not stimulating you in the slightest way. You sat (preferred modus operandi atm) and looked around,  completely mesmerised at the trees, grass, nothing (!), excited/arms flapping for 35 MINS!! With not a word from me. And then when you finally reached over for me for cuddles, you were so happy. It made me realise how over-stimulated you probably are, with a brother tearing around, in and out of cars, toys, bottles, food, nappies etc etc. You've probably been dying for some time to sit still and take in the world. 

You are very curious.  Turning over toys in your hands for many minutes, studying them intently.  As soon as I pick you up out of your bed your head whips around from side to side taking the room in, spotting any changes I may have made while you slept (a pile of washing, a stack of books).  You're happy and smiley and an absolute joy to be around.  Louie fed you breakfast this morning and you nearly died of happiness.  I could watch you watching Louie for eternity.  And I get to!

Happy half year my river boy, I love you so very much

xxx